As It Should Be

To Be Loved

In the quiet corner of my heart

Where few are called to enter,

I feel your influence in my life;

You see, you are the center.

In all my dreams while growing up

I imagined who you'd be.

I ached to know how it would feel

For you to rescue me.

I wondered what you looked like;

Would I recognize your face?

But when I tried to imagine

The thought would be erased.

I wondered if you'd love me.

Would I really matter to you?

Who would I have to be like?

What would I have to do?

I wondered, would you be gentle?

Would your words to me be kind?

If I could look inside your heart

What intentions would I find?

Would we ba happy together,

Be sad if we were apart?

If I went away for a little while

Would there be a hole in your heart?

Now I don't have to wonder;

You're all I imagined you'd be.

And I know with all my heart

That you will always love me.

I don't know if I deserve you

But Heaven has blessed me so.

As long as I know you love me

That's all that I need to know.

Realignment

Priorities

While looking for my cape

So as to meet my expectations

I’ve gone out of control

With mounting frustration.

Then I see my toddler resting

In a warm patch of sun

And I’m given a reminder–

Heaven’s work is never done.

Life as a mom is all about priorities; all too soon the years fly by and the children leave home with memories of years past. As mothers, we have the power to determine what kind of memories those will be…and then live with happiness or regret stamped in their hearts, and our hearts, forever.

For As Long As It Takes

Waiting Patiently

Head down in bitter anguish

You’ve fallen to your knees;

There is deep despair

So apparent in your pleas.

All hope has not been lost…

I’ll help you understand;

Please, child, just look up–

And take hold of my hand.

It is never God that walks away, closes the door or chooses to ignore. In my darkest hours, He is always there to love and comfort me; to offer guidance and heal my broken heart if only I will allow Him the privilege.

Just Keep Going

Choices

The road is long;

I’m tired and slow.

I must continue;

I have so far to go.

I travel on,

And frequently I see

Another fork

Just up ahead of me.

I must decide.

It’s hard and I complain.

The narrow way,

It has such rough terrain.

The wider path,

Worn down, less of a chore

Is so inviting.

And there are many more

Who seem content

To take the easy way.

But I resist;

I choose the narrow way.

Reality

Pride

I celebrate my progress

While here on my plateau;

Then patiently, God shows me

How far I have to go.

Strength

Matthew 11:28-29

How can I help you?
Impatience, anger and attitudes

Boiling in your heart and mind

Are clouding up your view.

How can I help you?
Distractions, haughtiness and pride

Build up a wall of stubbornness

To silence desperate cries.

How can I help you?
Discouragement, uncertainty and fear

Are choking out your will to thrive;

My voice you cannot hear.

I cannot help you…

Until I hear your desperate knock;

For I would never force a mule

To yoke up with an ox.

Matthew 11:28-29

Yoke…makes me think of oxen…did some research and this is what I found:
In the days of pioneers, oxen were the first choice for work animals

Oxen
  Quiet
  Unassuming
  Give more than they take
  Willing to work long hours
  Low maintenance
  Humble
  Gentle
  Persevering
  Great strength
  Plod…walk very slowly (about 2 mph), but steady
  Dependable
  Patient
  Durable
  Don’t run off…never have to be chased down
  Plunge through mud, swim over streams, dive into thickets, eat almost anything
  Able to endure exposure to the elements of nature

The other option was mules:

Mules
  Hard to work with
  Don’t always like people
  Hard to catch
  Spoiled habits
  Moody
  Bad attitude
  Impatient
  Has to get used to new surroundings
  Would love to stand around and eat/drink all day
  Very curious. Needs blinders to avoid getting distracted
  Squirmy
  Inattentive
  Bothered by touch
  Easily upset, angered, startled…which results in them being uncontrollable…can lead to danger
  Has to be properly trained and conditioned to be willing to go where you want them to go, do what
     you want them to do, to lead and be led
  If they aren’t willing…you don’t stand a chance


Question: Would you yoke a mule with an ox?

Matthew 11:28

Come…approach me, make yourself available, reach out for me, need me, extend your hand to reach for mine, confess your sins, humble yourself, repent!

All ye that are heavy laden…loaded with physical, emotional, mental or spiritual burden

And I will give you rest…I will give you…not make you earn…rest… trust me…just lean all your weight on me and I will support you.

Question: Ask yourself…Am I a mule or an ox?
Question: I ask again…would you yoke a mule to an ox?

Matthew 11:29

Take my yoke upon you....Humble yourself…I’m reaching out to you…be willing to accept me, my strength, my power, my help, my love
Learn of me…read and study about me…follow me…stay with me, I’ll show you, I’ll help you
I am meek and lowly of heart…I am gentle and humble, kind and loving, accepting, friendly
And ye shall find rest…comfort…peace…calm and quiet…strength and hope…freedom from trouble,
anxiety, troubled thoughts or emotions

* If you feel you have been wronged by anyone:
   A family member
   A friend
   A Church leader
   A business associate

Or by anything:
   The death of a loved one
   Health problems
   A financial reversal
   Abuse
   Addictions

Deal with the matter directly and with all the strength you have. “Hold on thy way”. Giving up is not an option. And without delay, turn to the Lord. Exercise all of the faith you have in Him. Let Him share your burden. Allow His grace to lighten your load.

* Never let an earthly circumstance disable you spiritually.

* No matter the size of the issue, how we respond can reset the course of our life.

* Don’t just endure…endure righteously

* Continually turn to the Lord

* The Savior’s most exemplary (setting a pattern for us to follow) act, the Atonement, required him to descend below all things. Thus we understand the Atonement has broader purpose than providing a means to overcome sin. This greatest of all earthly accomplishments gives the Savior the power to fulfill this promise: “If ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence…if ye do this, he will…deliver you out of bondage”.

A Very Personal Lesson

Gratitude

In all my human weakness

Within my mortal view

Flaws and imperfection

Were all I saw in you.

I placed myself above you

So sure I mattered more;

I felt such selfish pride

I chose not to ignore.

Then God gave me a vision

And suddenly I saw

In my foolish stupor

I was the one so flawed.

So quietly you’d loved me

And I just couldn’t see.

God knew that I would need you;

You were His gift to me.

Ponder This...

Justice

I am quickly sinking

Into a deep black hole.

“Why is it I must suffer, God,

When another lacks control?”

My life would be so different

If only my sins mattered;

Instead I’m being punished…

My world’s completely shattered

“Yes, child, you are sinking,

But it’s not your only choice.

Reach for my hand, hold onto me,

Just listen to my voice.

I understand your thinking,

But you must try to see;

My suffering in Gethsemane…

That was for you, not me.”

When we suffer because of someone else’s choices, the world would tell us to seek revenge and soak ourselves in anger and self pity. But the Savior, who knows all too well about suffering because of other’s choices, encourages us to let go of the anger and self pity, and turn to Him for lessons in forgiveness and for the healing of our hearts.

An Object Lesson

Inseparable

High expectations

Deep, dazzling blue;

Firmly committed,

Most logical too!

Soft, silky, pink

Undoubtedly bright;

Great organizer,

Loves being right!

Both are amazing

With talent and style;

Separate they’re great,

But there’s no denial

When they’re put together

A bright purple hue,

With God there’s no limit

To what they can do.

In a demonstration at a Stake Women’s conference, a sister mixed blue and pink water together. It turned purple and she reminded us no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t separate that blue water from the pink; it was permanent. So it should be, she said, with our marriage relationships.

Symbolism

Bread and Water
A spirit ridden with hunger

And desperate eager thirst,

Withers thin and listless

Beleaguered by a curse.

And wrestling a sure demise

With hopeless desperation,

Crumbles into darkness thick

Without promise or salvation.

But in turning to the Savior,

There is nourishment for the soul;

And the wounded, broken spirit

Is once again made whole.

I read in Isaiah 30:20:
"And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers (footnote says HEBREW thy teacher; i.e. the LORD) be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers.

And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it (footnote says walking with God), when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left".

I was intrigued by the words "bread of adversity and water of affliction". The spirit taught me it was very symbolic. Physically bread and water are absolutely essential in sustaining life. In John 6:35 we read that Jesus Christ is the Bread of Life "He that cometh to me shall never hunger - He that believeth in me shall never thirst". It is not enough to go to Him...we must believe. Without following, believing in and becoming like the Savior we cannot survive spiritually. If we are faithful here, in this earth life, we will obtain the reward of eternal life...life with God...the blessing of being all that God is and having all that God has. But, with that blessing that we all look forward to, comes great responsibility that we cannot be prepared for without adversity and affliction. The bread of adversity and the water of affliction are absolutely essential to our being able to reach our full potential...in becoming who God knows we can become.

Something To Think About

Connection

Only moments ago

I wondered who you were;

Now that I am holding you

My heart begins to stir.

Suddenly I recognize

Now that we’re together,

I would give up everything

To be with you forever.

When our third child was born, we had only been at the hospital for 2 1/2 hours before he made his grand entrance into the world. My doctor was out of town and the doctor on call could not be reached. A doctor who’d come in to deliver another baby was quickly made aware of my situation, and as he came sauntering into the room, I hollered "get over here now!" He took 3 quick steps, barely got his gloves on, and arrived just in time to catch our son, newly departed from heaven. It was 12:50am. Before long, the doctor left to take care of the other birth; the nurse quickly got me settled before she hurried on to finish her rounds, Charles went home to get some much needed rest and I was left all alone with that sweet little giant of a spirit. It was a most amazing experience.

I'm Back

I've been out of town...thus the reason for my delay in posting for the past week. It's good to be back home.

A Humbling Thought

Infinite Worth

In a moment of reflection

My heart begins to pound,

As I ponder deeply

A bit of truth profound;

That God, who is almighty,

And reigns in heaven above,

Would claim me as His child

For whom He feels great love.

There is no hesitation;

I need not prove my worth–

Though I am one of billions

That He has sent to earth.

His power knows no boundary

And we are far apart.

Yet, for Him to lose me

Would surely break His heart.

A Really Hard Lesson To Learn

Forgiveness

Each day as he was walking

Along the dusty road,

He was ever mindful;

He carried a heavy load.

The load was one he chose

To carry on his own;

Burdens he kept with him,

To no one were they shown.

Anger and resentment,

Embarrassment and pride;

They slowed his daily progress,

His comfort they denied.

Though he became more weary

With every passing day,

He did not put it down;

That was the weaker way.

His brother came along

And asked to take the load,

But he refused the help;

His heart had grown too cold.

So then as he trudged on

He met up with his fate.

The load became too heavy,

But now, it was too late.

While then it seemed much easier

To keep hard feelings in,

Refusing to forgive

Was yet the greater sin.

Safety and Peace

Rescue

A raging storm…

My footing isn’t steady;

Deep in my heart

I feel I am not ready.

The road seems long.

But I can see no other.

Despair sets in

But then I see my Brother.

“I’m here,” He says,

And gently lifts me up.

I’m not alone;

He shares my bitter cup

His arms are strong

He says He knows this place.

I cling to Him…

I’m safe in His embrace.

In my scripture study I came across Isaiah 46:4:

"And even to your old age, I am he; and even to hoar hairs (footnote says grey hairs) will I carry you; I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you".

The spirit taught me that the Savior truly does carry me through my adversities and trials; that I should not whine and complain or cry because something is hard. Instead, I should wrap my arms around the Savior and hang on for dear life...trusting that He and I together can make it through. It also taught me that others are “too big” for me to carry...physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually...I should “put them down” and allow the Savior to carry them. Then I trust; I should "stand still" and not walk behind Him to make sure He can handle carrying them for as long and far as is necessary. That was a very humbling, but very comforting lesson for me.

NOTE: While writing the poem I first had the 3rd to the last line reading: "He says He knows the way" and I was completely stuck on the last line. But the whole embrace thing came into my mind and then I realized it needed to be "He says He knows this place". I know that He knows the way...I know the way. "He knows this place" takes on a whole new meaning. I could feel that He knows this place I'm in right now.

Sometimes I Wish They Came With a Handbook

Balance

At times my heart is torn

Between helping you grow up

And rescuing you from life.

And in the process

Sometimes I make mistakes

And cause a bit of strife.

It’s easy to forget

While in my mind I think

I’m choosing what is best,

I need to let you

Make your own decisions

And figure out the rest.

Please be patient with me

This parenting is tough;

More than I thought perhaps.

And I have to learn to trust

That while I may mess up

God does fill in the gaps.

If Ever You've Been There...You Get It

This poem was my first. It came to me while I was desperately praying for something profound to share with a friend. I'd already spent hours searching and finally dropped to my knees to seek divine inspiration. I was so intent on getting an answer, that I had paper and a pen ready. When the answer came I had to write fast to get it all down. It wasn't until I actually read what I'd written, that I realized it was a poem.

Don’t Forget How Much I Love You

I know how painful it must be;

I know the hurt you feel.

My sacrifice for you was hard;

Believe me, it was real.

I understand the tears you shed,

The aching in your heart.

I promised Father I would come

And fully do my part.

I know the weariness you know;

An angel held me up.

I pled with Father–was there a way

To please remove that cup.

I cannot count the tears I shed;

I bled from every pore.

I did it because I love YOU

And I will forever more.

I know you feel you can’t go on,

Your heart is torn to pieces.

But keep these words and my picture close

To remind you “I LOVE YOU” – Jesus

We All Have Them

Lessons From Heaven

“It’s scary to think about leaving…

To go where I can’t see your face.

How will I ever return", I asked

"If I can’t remember this place"?

“I’ll give you lessons from Heaven”

He said with a smile in His eyes.

A sigh, then a look of confusion

Was all I could give in reply.

“Lessons to guide your return, child

To your home, this place you once knew

Trials to help you grow stronger

Don’t worry…I’ll be there for you”.

The lessons won’t be very easy,

Your heart will be aching with pain;

Some will seem harder than others,

Though not one will you learn in vain".

“You can do it”, he said as he hugged me;

“I know what you’re capable of.

You’re right…you won’t see my face

But child, I’ll send you my love”.